"I don't want to ever get married"...so says Belmondo.

So much for no more drama. Everytime we take steps forward in getting real close the shit hits the fan and I end up with the crap on my face. (figuratively speaking of course).

We'd made plans for me to spend this weekend at his place as I head off to Mexico Wednesday March 1. The plan naturally was to spend some time shagging and dropping off my pet Beta Giles for him to pet sit for the week.

I called him Friday night to see what time I should come over on Saturday after work. He said and he was very tired and did not want to talk. He honestly did sound bad. I even thought maybe he was drunk. He asked me to call him on Saturday mid day to finalize plans. So I did that. He then said he couldn't talk which was OK because he was at work. He said he would call me me at 6 which he did.

He then proceeded to tell me he can't see me because his aunt and uncle needs him to take them to some concert with some Croatian singers. They are elderly and have been having issues lately. You see, the wife wants to leave. I know Belmondo is feeling pressured from it....but I did not know how bad till this weekend.

I was annoyed that he waited till the last minute to cancel when he could have called me much earlier during the day. I expressed my annoyance but said it was fine. I told him I can come over on Sunday instead. We chatted a bit about his aunt wanting a divorce.

At some point the conversation went like this:

Bel: I don't want to get married. Ever.
Me: huh huh, I thought you said you were opened to the idea when we first me.
Bel: Well I am just telling you I changed my mind so don't pressure me.
Me: Hmmm, when did I pressure you and when did I propose?
Bel: Well, I just feel pressured that's all.
Me: OK, (I am getting very pissed at this point and my tone is terse) why are we having this conversation? Something is going on so you might as well just tell me the truth.
Bel: I just don't want to get married.
Me: You said that already. Why are we talking about this and why all of a sudden you feel the urgent need to make a point of telling me this?
Bel: I just want you to know.
Me: Usually when a man tells a woman he doesn't want to marry it means he does not want to marry HER. I am old enough to know this to be the truth.
Bel: It's not you you it's me.
Me: OK, what the fuck???!!

If you check my post last post before this one, I mentioned we talked about living together or some such nonsense. He was the one who always complained about me living too far from the city. We had one conversation about where we would live given the fact that he likes the city and I don't. One stinking conversation. ONE. And no where in there did I say, make me your blushing bride. You see, I kind of like my life the way it is. I do as I like, I travel or what ever.

And at this point in my life, the bridal aisle could be lined with the finest diamonds and I would not walk down it. Hell, you couldn't push me in a wheel chair down the damned thing!
Attach a weapon of mass destruction and blow it up for all I care! That is how much I don't care.

Me: so then, do you want to break up. I think we should break up. A man making a point of telling a woman he doesn't want to marry means let's break up. You are giving me a reason to break up. So let's do it.

Bel: I am not letting you go.
Me: err....you don't have me/own me. Not your choice at this point. (by now I feel like someone punched me in the gutt and I am sobbing. Mostly because I felt humiliated)

While I am in no shape or form to be married anytime soon, I still sort of felt rejected. I think if any man who says he doesn't wish to be married meets a woman who blows him off his feet, he'll change his mind.

Anyhow, this is the lates drama...but fuck it, I am off to Mexico for some sand and surf. Belmondo can contemplate what he wants, if anything. One thing I am certain of, I am not interested in the game of 'he wants me, he wants me not'.

And as much as I am attracted to him and liked spending my spare time with him-telling him to get stuffed like a Christmas turkey wont be a problem.