Assume Value!

When people find out I work for dating site, one of the most common things I hear that online dating is not really the same how offline dating works. In many ways there is a huge difference between online dating and offline dating. But the basic principle remains the same: to meet new people and hopefully find that special someone. And I hope the following post will help those who don’t believe in online dating

There’s a tendency in this community that a lot of guys position themselves value wise beneath a girl they find attractive. They then approach the woman with that set of starting belief. Now you’re probably anticipating that I’m going to say this is wrong or doesn’t work.

The fact is that this mindset actually has worked and probably will work – but is it emotionally healthy for you, now that’s an entirely different issue. Most guys begin in this community learning some tactics and routines, they then go and use it on some girls in a bar, and they get immediate reactions (a laugh, a giggle or a smile).

For a chode this is like a freaking revelation. He then connects the success he has now achieved with the routines/tactics he’s been using, which just reinforces the belief that most of us started out with.

“Women are higher value, we must use tricks/routines/negs to lower her value and raise ours”.

This chode will then be completely blind of other ways or methods that can get the same result. He has now embarked on an unhealthy belief spiral. He will constantly be socially pinging girls “Is what I’m doing good enough” and every successes or failures he will connect them with the set of belief he has, making the belief stronger and harder to change down the line.

The opposite of this sort of belief is what I practice “Assume Value “.

Assume that you are of high value – “you are simply enough. “

You don’t need to do all sorts of routines and button pushing to get a positive responds from the girl. You don’t need her validation or her approval. You don’t need to wait for that IOI to further escalate the interaction. The Assume Value mindset is also interconnected with the others beliefs which I follow like for example

“ Assume Attraction “ - in layman’s term “it’s always on until otherwise proven!”

What this mindset of assuming value gives you, is to allow your mind become free & unplugged. You no longer will run into issues of “I run out of things to say”. You no longer will have to deal with the headaches of every single interaction. Because whatever you say is good enough. Doesn’t matter if it’s about you talking about your laundry or that you picked up your mom from work. You simply assume anything you say is cool and is of value. It pretty much comes down to self-trust.

Now, when you incorporate this mindset, you learn that some people will just not accept that. They simply won’t accept the reality that you are displaying and those people can be literally anyone from strangers to your closest friends. For example a turbo girl may not accept you’re reality and test you! In her head she would be like “No no no! You can’t do that, I’m a hot turbo girl you need to buy me a drink and get my attention by supplicating!” and all sorts of bullshit.

It’s up to you to show that your reality is strongest and how to deal with her testing the correct way. How to have a strong reality is a complete other subject that I hopefully can talk a bit about another time. But it hits the fundamental beliefs I talked about above and simply taking action from them.

Taking a quote of Alexander of RSD

“Actions give you experiences. Experiences alter your perception. Through perception changes you alter your inner game. Ideally, you alter your inner game to become better than it already was. Though if you are misguided, then your inner game could be altered negatively.”

Now this will take time, some longer than others depending on how deep they are plugged into the social matrix. But know that we all started somewhere, and with incorporating the right mindsets and beliefs and of course taking right action, it’s only a matter of time before they are truly ingrained to your identity.