Answers to your questions about dating at 50+
"Isn't age just a number?"
Why do so many people look down on you if you are dating a younger man? I am dating a man 24 years younger than me and am having the time of my life. Isn't age just a number? -- Janet A., 52, Fuquay-Varina, N.C.
Janet, forget about what others say. It's your life and your happiness. That said; proceed cautiously. A 24-year age difference is significant. You should ask yourself, "Why is he interested in me?" In eight more years, when you are 60 and he's 36, will he feel the same about you or trade you in for a younger woman? Because so many women have asked similar questions about dating younger men, I wrote an electronic book entitled, "Dating the Age Gap. Older vs. Younger. Can It Work?" You might want to read it. It's available on my blog, blog.loveawake.com.
Economically impaired?
I am very good looking. My problem is the economy. I lost a great job and am now making ends meet and have little time to date. I also think that men will not want a woman who is just getting by they want that successful rich woman. Especially here in Dallas with all the rich, pretty girls. What should I do? -- Isabel D., 50, Dallas
Isabel, get your personal priorities in order first. You need to focus on getting employment and back on your feet financially. Let dating take a lower priority for now. Not all Dallas men want nor can they have rich, pretty girls. Besides, since you say you're very good looking, all you have to worry about is improving the money side of the pretty and rich combination. Once you get back on your feet, then focus on dating but seek men who are looking for more important qualities besides than money and beauty, like character and values.
Date and dash?
An old boyfriend looked me up after being apart for 7-1/2 years. We dated. He helped around my house and indicated we were dating again. He later became distant, wouldn't call, etc. Any clue why he looked me up at all? -- Sandy B., 55, Rio Rancho, N.M.
Sandy, he was probably lonely and thought that perhaps the reasons you two had originally split up might have changed. So, he wanted to check it out. However, he likely found that people don't change and the same reasons for the first breakup still exist. So he withdrew.
What's right to write?
What is the socially acceptable way to reply to an email from someone I just don't find attractive, and don't wish to have any contact with? I don't mean to sound shallow, but many of the women in my age group are homely looking or overweight, etc. How to handle this without sounding rude or arrogant? -- Bob D., 53, Pittsford, N.Y.
Bob, it's too bad there aren't more people like you using the Internet, people considerate enough to want to know what is socially acceptable. Many people simply elect not to respond. Treat others as you'd like to be treated by responding. There's no need to get into specifics, just say, "Thank you, I'm not interested." The person on the other end of the email is a human being just like you and has feelings. Be respectful of them.
How can I find a good relationship?
How can I define myself best to myself, so that I am not sending mixed signals to someone else? I have tried online psyche tests, reading books, listening/watching talk shows about relationships, asking people I know well to tell me what it is about me they like/dislike. I find my relationships unsatisfying at this point. I am 55 and not getting any younger. I would seriously like to find some people on my same wavelength and not find relationships so stressful or so unsatisfying after I start to get to know someone. -- Elysa D., 55, Vernal, Utah
Elysa, there's an easy solution to your dilemma right here on Yahoo! Personals. I suggest you take the Loveawake Relationship Test to help you sort out your relationship needs and readiness. Let the professionals help you, that's the business they're in. More than anything else, by doing that, you'll improve your chances to meet a man right for you.
